Mirrors

Yes that Justin Timberlake song is pretty dope too.

I was thinking about the concept of mirrors lately and how symbolic it is especially when we view our everyday social interactions. Are we really surrounded with people that remind us of ourselves or are we simply a by-product of our good company? Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Personally, I would like to say that we are constantly influenced by others and we, in turn, influence them as well....



In high school, we always had a favorite substitute teacher who would come in and pass out snickers by playing trivia games at the end of class. He always had these specific set of rules for success that he would make us repeat. One of the rules was, "If you want to get good grades, you better be having lunch with the A students."

When we think of relationships, we should see them as reflections. 

I once went on a blind date and debated over the ideals of the perfect relationship. We were having lunch at Disneyland and somehow we started talking about Chris Brown and Rihanna. I expressed how upsetting it was that Rihanna returned to Chris even after the infamous abuse scandal.
My date sat there for a minute without saying anything.
She then said, "Well... I think their love is kind of beautiful."
Surprised I replied, "What? Do you know what you're saying?"
She responded, "Well.. it's probably not ideal to your standards of what a relationship should be but it's perfect for them. They're both from the same background as far as being entertainers and famous with the same amount of sexual appeal. No one else knows what it's like to be in their shoes except for one another. I think their love is passionate that they can over come that obstacle and work on being together."

She was right. We shouldn't judge others by the expectations of what love should really look like because there's a whole range of that perception. Not every couple looks like Ricky and Lucy. Take Romeo and Juliet, the most iconic love couple of all time, for example. They both killed themselves so they could ultimately be together in the afterlife.

I'm not saying that we should kill ourselves to be happy (although sometimes it feels like it). Unknowingly, we have a lot of control over the extent of happiness in whatever situation we're in. Whether it's our social circle or in personal romantic relationships, the most important mirror to assess is your own.

When we see Doctors and Lawyers, it makes sense to us that they make the big bucks. They sacrifice most of their adult life in school, constantly studying and living in libraries. They earn a thing called "self entitlement".
This "self entitlement" can be achieved by first looking into your own personal thoughts and saying I want something better. But if you're going to expect better, then you should work on being better as well.

I remember sitting with a friend at a bar one night expressing my concerns with the girls in my life.
I said, "I don't get it. Why am I attracting all these girls who are constantly jealous or girls who would go out with me and already have boyfriends?"
He then said, "Well, think about it. Jealousy and cheating can be traced to the root of insecurity. No offense, but don't you think you're insecure as well?"
Wow.. Truth hurts but it's necessary.. Yes, I constantly wanted validation all the time. I was thinking if I date a lot I must be good enough. I didn't even set any set ideals or qualifications. So I got what I projected.

Anyways, keep assessing your reflective interactions. Are you not progressing because your company is holding you back? Don't blame them but instead focus on yourself and take breaks every now and then. Your true friends will understand. Does your partner do things that they keep doing and you're not happy with? Then you must change yourself and become more demanding. Expect more because you deserve more. And always remember.. If you want something great, you must be great yourself.

Keep checking those mirrors.