The Biggest Obstacle - Don't C*ck Block Yourself

So there we were in the middle of the club. The music blasting away. Everyone is dancing, laughing, spilling drinks and having a good time. I make eye contact with the girl from a few feet close to the bar. She's surrounded with all of her girlfriends...

Arvin: What's wrong? Go.

Me: I.. I'm not sure.

Arvin: What aren't you sure about? She's looking right at you.

Me: Dude, I don't know. I think I'm nervous.

(He could tell that I was getting in my own head about things. It was like he was in tune with my internal negative chatter in my head. What Arvin said next would significantly change the way I view things today...)

Arvin: Don't c*ck block yourself. 

(Right when he said that, I walked over and I said hi. She smiled and said hi back...)

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There were a lot of nights spent at different bars, clubs, and other parties but there's a few I really remember. This particular night is one of them because this was the night that I realized that I am my own worst enemy. And I'm not the only one who feels this way. 

There are so many times we all tell ourselves that we aren't good enough despite any evidence. We seem to already fail by talking ourselves out of a task before we have even started. 

*By the way, a c*ck block is a person that prevents a man from interacting with a woman, ultimately diminishing any chances for sexy time.

What was so surprising was that I was never aware that I was c*ck blocking myself. I have been my biggest obstacle and unknowingly preventing myself from not only talking to the girls I like, but also achieving other goals. I remember putting off working out because I told myself that it's too hard and losing weight was not an option for me. 

Here's the thing. No one can't tell you what you can or can't do other then yourself.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” - Henry Ford

Think of a goal you want to achieve right now. Now just think of it and determine the level of difficulty it is. If it's hard and unbelievable to accomplish, then let's try to prove yourself wrong. Let's take this next example.

My friend was telling me how hard it is to talk to random girls at bars/clubs. He assumes that it's easy for me since I've been doing it for so long and I developed super social skills. But he is wrong. I still get nervous and I consider myself somewhat shy. But what I like to do is to take a big task and break it down to mini tasks.

Big Task 

Talking to a girl (or guy if you're a girl.. or guy.. I don't judge. *side note, us guys like it when girls take initiative. It's admirable and unexpectedly refreshing) 

just break it down..

Mini Tasks 

step 1. see the girl

move onto step 2

step 2. walk up to the girl

move onto step 3

step 3. smile

move onto step 4

step 4. say hi and introduce your name

move onto step 5

step 5. ask for her name

and so on and so on... 

See, if you break things down and focus on each mini task, it feels easier. It's like a check list and you can't move onto the next step if you haven't completed the mini task at hand. This will also help you stay in the moment and not focus on any outcome which is really important. But the main thing to remember is that you can't start if you get in the way of yourself.